Cliché'd: A Percy Jackson Fanfiction
by OHaiImaWriter
Summary: A series of one-shots of the most overused, Cliché'd Percy Jackson titles. It is meant to be dumb and overdramatic. Review and suggest other clichés!
1. I Join the Army of Chaos

**Yes, this story is meant to be stupid.**

**No offense to anyone who writes these types of stories. This is just how I see them because they're pretty much the same thing every time.**

**Hi. I'm Percy **Jackson. Savior of Olympus twice, son of Poseidon, and best of all, boyfriend of the smart and beautiful Annabeth Chase. Now... here's a story about my wonderful life and how things got... weird.

**10 YEARS EARLIER**

"Guys, there's a new camper and he's being attacked by the Minotaur! He needs help!" Piper yelled.

I ran up Half-Blood Hill to find a boy about my age running away from the Minotaur screaming, "HELP!"

I uncapped Riptide and fought the Minotaur, heroically killing it, but for some reason, everyone glared at me. "Percy, that kid was being attacked and you just left him to die!"

"But I killed it!"

The boy smiled smugly. "No, I'm pretty sure you hid the entire time."

"Whatever," I said.

Over the few weeks, everyone began paying attention to the new camper, whose name was Michael. Somehow, he was a Son of Poseidon who had survived for seventeen years on his own.

Some time later, my dad came to camp.

"Sorry, Percy, but I have to disown you for no apparent reason."

"But dad. Why?"

"Michael is better in every way than you, even though you've killed monsters more times than he's brushed his teeth."

"No!" I screamed and lay down in my bed and cried.

One day I was conveniently carrying the ring I was gonna propose to Annabeth, my girlfriend with, even though I was only seventeen. I noticed two people making out on the beach. One was Michael. The other was... Annabeth.

"Oh Michael, Percy's a loser, and I love you and not Percy at all!" she said, and somehow I heard her even though I was at least fifty feet away from the beach.

I was angry. "Here, why don't you propose to her!" I threw the ring at Michael.

Annabeth gasped. "It's not what it looks like, Percy!"

I nearly laughed out loud. Of course, I mean, Annabeth telling Michael how dumb I am is not what it looks like at all.

I ran away from Camp Half-Blood, and ran into Chaos who for some reason was strolling down the streets of New York in human form.

"Hello Percy Jackson! I heard your heart was broken, so do you want to join my army?" Chaos asked me.

"How did you know my heart was broken?" I asked Chaos.

"Erm... lucky guess?"

"Whatever, I accept."

"Great, you are now immortal."

**20 MINUTES LATER**

"Alright, Percy," the lieutenant of Chaos told me. "We need to give you a new name. Now, here I have a dart, and I need you to throw it at the spinning dart board so we can pick your new name!"

"Why do I need a new name?" I asked.

"Well, here in the army of Chaos, we believe that you can't fully become a soldier unless you give up your earthly name! So we give you a name that has nothing to do with your identity or personality!"

"Ok, cool," I replied. I picked up the dart and threw it at the spinning dart board. It landed on "Corndog."

"Congratulations, Percy, your new name is Private Corndog!

**9 YEARS, 364 DAYS, 23 HOURS, AND 40 MINUTES LATER (9 EARTH DAYS)**

"Okay soldiers, earth is under attack. Commander Corndog, you must assist Camp Half-Blood because an army of monsters is going to attack it for no reason. Take Colonel Christmas Tree and Lieutenant Library with you," Chaos said.

"But I don't want to go back to earth! I have bad memories there! Can't you just pick someone else?"

"LIFE SUCKS, COMMANDER CORNDOG! GROW A PAIR AND GET OVER IT!"

"Yes sir!" I said.

**1 HOUR LATER**

"Here we are boys. Camp Half-Blood."

We strolled in to find everyone weeping. "What did that Michael boy do to us? We lost Percy forever!" Piper yelled.

"Annabeth won't even come out of her cabin!" Jason exclaimed.

"Where is Michael, anyway?" Travis asked.

"Oh, he must have disappeared for no reason except the sake of the story."

"Got it."

"Hello! I am Commander Corndog!" I said. "This is Colonel Christmas Tree and Lieutenant Library! We are going to kill some monsters for you!"

Annabeth conveniently chose that moment to walk out of her cabin. Her hair was disheveled, her eyes were red and puffy, and she looked like she hadn't slept in days. "You look a lot like Percy Jackson, the boy who disappeared a few days ago. What's your name?" She asked me.

"My name is-"

"Shut up, we both know it's not Corndog."

"I will not tell you my real name. Look out! Monsters are attacking!" I yelled as monsters began to somehow cross the borders into Camp Half-Blood.

We fought together, and defeated the army of monsters.

"Haha! I know who you are now! You're Percy Jackson! I saw you use Riptide!" Annabeth said.

"What? No... erm no... what makes you think that?"

"Percy, I'm sorry! Please forgive me!"

"Okay fine Annabeth, I forgive you even though you broke my heart beyond repair."

"Thank you!" We kissed and everyone lived happily ever after.


	2. I Kiss a Maiden

**Here you go: Pertemis. Possibly the ship that I wish would crash and sink to the depths of Tartarus.**

**No offense to Pertemis shippers: ROT IN HELL!**

**Lol...**

**Pertemis cliché's usually can turn out differently, unlike Chaos, so this is my version.**

**Anyways, here you go:**

**"Hey! We just **killed Kronos, and even though Olympus is half-destroyed, let's boogie!" Zeus yelled, and suddenly, food and music appeared.

"Woohoo!" Grover yelled, as he grabbed a tray and began to slide on it down the side of the Empire State Building. Drunk, maybe?

"Hey guys, where's Annabeth?" I asked Rachel and Thalia.

They both got pained looks, like they knew exactly where she was, even though me, Annabeth's best friend, has no idea where she was.

"Um.. Percy, she's over by the fountain, bu-" I honestly didn't give a flying crap about what else they had to say, so instead of listening to them and saving myself a heartbreak, I conveniently decided to walk over to said fountain.

When I got there, he saw Annabeth kissing Jake, my half-brother who didn't exist until now.

"Annabeth, even though we are technically not dating yet, how could you cheat on me like this?"

"Oh Percy, I never loved you. I never even liked you! Those four years of your life where I pretended to be your best friend? Ha! They were all fake just so I could break your heart by kissing your brother who just appeared out of thin air suddenly."

"But Annabeth, I was supposed to give up immortality for you, and you were supposed to make me blue cake, and we were supposed to kiss then get thrown into the water by Clarisse and all her friends! Then we were supposed to make out under there! What happened?"

"Oh Percy, I have no need for the events of the actual story."

Rage boiled up inside of me. I made a giant hand out of water.

"Bitch slap!" I yelled and slapped Jake off of Olympus.

Suddenly, Annabeth got scared and cowered. "I'm so sorry, Percy, please forgive me!"

"No way, but my fatal flaw is loyalty, so I cannot hurt you!"

I walked away, with tears in my eyes. When I got back, for some reason the party was over.

"Where'd everybody go?" I asked the Olympian Council. "And why is Hades here? It's not even the Winter Solstice yet..."

"Anyways, avoiding that question, Perseus Jackson, we have randomly decided to make you Guardian of the Hunt," Zeus said.

"But I don't wanna b-"

"Everyone, your new Guardian of the Hunt!"

"Wait! We don't travel in the company of males for very long! It's a rule," Artemis said.

"Well my dear, rules are meant to be broken," Zeus said.

"Fine, I'll let you change it just this once," Artemis replied.

"Okay, looks like I'm the new Guardian of the Hunt," I said.

Artemis randomly blushes at the sound of my voice.

**LATER THAT EVENING**

"Okay, so ladies, we have a new member," Artemis announced, while I was inside the tent.

"Who is it?" I heard one voice say.

"Is she from Mars?"

"Does she like corndogs?"

"I wonder if she's famous."

"Maybe she's a guy."

"Holy cheese and rice no! Artemis would never be stupid enough to let a guy into our Hunt!"

"Say what now?"

"I hope it's Ariana Grande!"

"We're maidens, remember?"

"Oh yeah..."

"SILENCE!" Artemis said. "It is a guy."

Gasps from the Hunters.

"And he is now the guardian of the hunt. Please welcome Perseus Jackson!"

I timidly walked out of the tent, getting glares from everybody except for Thalia and Artemis.

"Okay. So now what do we do?" I asked.

Artemis blushed again at the sound of my voice. "We need to sleep. Perseus Jackson, you will have your own tent. Tomorrow we go to Camp Half-Blood to stop an army of monsters from invading."

I walked into my tent and started to get dressed into my Hunter's clothing. I took my shirt off, and Artemis conveniently decided to walk in at the moment.

"Perseu- OHHH!" she said when she saw me without a shirt on.

I smirked. Even though she was a maiden, I would flirt with her anyways.

"Hey. Like what you see?"

"I-I- c-curfew i-i-s at-at t-twel-twelve."

I smirked again. "Anything for you, babe," I said.

She giggled (which was very out of character) and walked out of the tent.

I sat in my tent and got ready for the next day.

**THE NEXT DAY**

"Hunters, enemies are approaching on the left side! Team A needs to accompany me, Team B stay with the campers!" Thalia exclaimed.

I sprinted over toward where Team A was headed, and killed a couple _dracanae. _

Once the battle was over, Annabeth walked up to me and said, "Percy, I'm sorry. Can we be friends?"

"Fine, Annabeth. We can be friends, but we will never date."

She looked crestfallen. I walked over to where Artemis was.

"That was... good fighting for a male, Perseus," she commented.

"Well yeah. I don't mean to brag, but-"

"Oh shut up, Jackson," she replied with a smirk.

I grinned and we began to lean in. We kissed, and it was awesome! I'm kissing a goddess! Woot woot!

Gasps were heard all around, but none of her Hunters got angry at her for breaking her vow.

I interlaced our fingers and we all lived happily ever after.

**Alright. I know this sucked, but it was meant to be like that...**

**Not as bad as this, but it was still meant to be bad.**


	3. The Demigods Go to Goode

**So most of you have requested an Annabeth goes to Goode, and this one would be a little hard to make it so cliché that it's dumb. Plus, I can't really talk because I actually liked some of these.**

**What can I say? This is the only overused cliché that actually interests me.**

**But, nonetheless, here you go!**

**This might be a three or four part thing, so be ready!**

**Oh, and this one will be from multiple P.o.V.'s.**

**I was so **dang excited! My dad got a once-in-a-lifetime job transfer to the one and only New York, which just happens to be where Percy lives! Even though we were supposed to go to the same school for our senior year, **(A/N: As seen in BoO) **we're not, so I'm gonna surprise him!

Oh yeah, I also forgot to mention, twelve other demigods would be joining us!

Thalia, Jason, Piper, Leo, Travis, Reyna, Connor, Clarisse, Katie, Nico, Hazel, and Frank. I hope we don't attract any monsters! Ya know, with five children of the Big Three in the same school, what could go wrong?

There's Frank and Reyna, who for some reason is not praetor of the legion, and came all the way to New York from San Fransisco along with Hazel for no reason. Isn't that great?

And of course, Thalia, who Artemis gave a break from commander of the Hunters for the sole purpose of getting a mortal education.

Chiron also let eight other demigods leave Camp Half-Blood in the middle of a year for the first time ever.

Now that that's cleared up, time to start my story:

So there I was, walking up the steps to Goode. I was early, of course. I walked into the office to grab my schedule.

"Okay Ms. Chase, it seems you have chosen Architecture and Ancient Greek as your electives," the principal said.

"Thank you, Ms..."

"Sanders," the principal said.

"Thank you Ms. Sanders," I said.

I strolled down the hallway to find a girl standing by her locker.

_'I guess I'll just go talk to her,' _I thought. I walked up to the girl and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Hi, I'm Annabeth," I said, thrusting out my hand.

"Lily," the girl said. We shook hands. "Do you need anyone to show you around?"

"No," I replied. "My boyfriend goes here."

"Oh, really? Who's your boyfriend? I may know him."

"Percy Jackson," I said. Her expression immediately turned into a scowl.

"Oh boy! Another girl to throw herself at him!"

I was utterly confused. Did she have to be so vague? Why couldn't she just flat out tell me what she was talking about!

"I'm sorry, what are you talking about?" I asked.

"They always do whatever it takes!" she exclaimed.

"Whatever what takes?!" I asked in a confused tone.

"Not now, blondie, I'm ranting."

Just then a cry rang out through the hallway. "ANNABETH!" You know those cliché moments in movies when two lovers are running through a flower field toward each other? Just imagine that, but without the flower field. Percy picked me up, spun me around, and kissed me. All the girls almost immediately began sobbing. One girl was holding a pocket knife, as if deciding on whether or not to stab me.

"Like... excuse me," said a nasal voice, "but like, what are you like, doing with like, my boyfriend? Like."

**Amanda's P.o.V.**

**I'm Amanda Greene, **president of the Percy Jackson fan club. I was about zero percent of the way to getting Percy to be my boyfriend before that girl that I stupidly assumed to be a dumb blonde showed up.

Some people call me a "bitch" or a "slut," but I just call myself a boy enthusiast. I mean, if only sleeping with guys was an Olympic sport!

I stupidly convinced myself that Percy didn't actually have a girlfriend, despite what he told everyone else. I mean, he was obviously turning all the other girls for a sl- I mean boy enthusiast like me.

"Like... excuse me," I asked, "but like, what are you like, doing with like, my boyfriend? Like." Percy and the blonde immediately pulled away, and I triumphantly thought that I had succeeded in breaking them up even though I had no idea if Annabeth could beat the sheeeit out of me.

The girl smirked. "You cheating on me, Seaweed Brain?"

Percy grinned. "Yeah. Just don't join Chaos' army."

Annabeth snorted. "Who in their right mind would do something stupid like that over a breakup?"

"That's what I was wondering," Percy said with a grin. Then the bell rang. The two walked off to class, leaving me standing behind with no books ready to go to class.

**Sorry for not updating for so long, but I just am lazy.**

**That's my excuse, I hope you liked this chapter!**


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